A Night

In the dark – 

this cold wind crossing the road into the trees, the leaves shimmering frecks of moonlight.  

Traveling Familiar Roads

The road is a character of sorts. 

While traveling any road its surface changes, some times immediate, transitional, but all else it’s in a constant state of flux.  It’s unyielding surface, hard and protective like a turtles shell but has no soft connective tissue inside of it.  The road is never on guard it’s a source, on ramps, off ramps, and axis that only one can choose to travel its path.  The values of nature hold no weather bond to the road, with the frigid cold and boiling hot summers high in the sky beating upon its surfaces.  The road is a universal path of pavement that doesn’t dictate it’s being.  We just choose how to travel upon it each by each.

When Our Hands Hold

Top and Bottom.

One road will lead onto, two.

One plus one equals two.

Count up from one and you’ll get two.

You’ll need two wings in order to fly.

- -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -

A towed line separates it all from one another.

- -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -

If I’m able to lean, why not on upon you as my support.

When you fall I shall catch you…

For truest to truest, its order is held as a go-between – two.

If I the beach you’d be the tide.

When the sun rises, shall we watch it fall.

If you were cold, I’d be your blanket of warmth.

Day needs night as night needs day.

Fold the paper in half, what shall you get?

If I ride over the hill I shall see you on the other side of it.

One and two.

Ivan Puig

The Three Pockets

Jersey packed with the essentials for a six-hour ride.   Those three pockets never fail, overloaded with disorganized clutter.  Left – Middle - Right are either stuffed for moments at a time  - sorted out- emptied too a rhythmic of the unconscious of the riders mind.  When reaching for a pocket theirs a deep gouge gesture of rustling going on as if you’re digging for the correct change when making a purchase of some kind.  A sign of relief when the item being searched for is revealed and unpacked for a form of consumption.  Sips and sloshes of water places everything into the body like pegs on a board.  Some times the ride feels at peace-quiet and other times all over the board that’s the nature of the cycling.

When getting off the bike everything is new, taking the sensations that are going on in the world on two feet.  Mind begins to collect thoughts – reflections of ride.  The mind is extraordinary – specially after the fact when you feel everything is some what heightened or seen in a new light of some sort.  A strange feeling happeneds with the eyes…  It’s as if you’d squinted with your eyes and look at the sunlight you get that oily swim sort of a swirl going through the vision and remains constant for a while.

Chase Them

Second wind hits,

Finally out of my head and

On the pedals.

Time Apart - Space -

I have a feeling that falls back onto itself as a hunch but lets just flip it and say I mostly know where these feelings are coming from.  A free body costing not down hill just different juxtapositions of costing specifically in my head, hart, and indescribable feeling that carries with in.  The feeling is lighter then daunting but its something people will ask, “what’s wrong,” and sometimes you just don’t want to talk about the feeling of emotions that are coursing because the help only helps for a briefer period every time.  It’s better to be around people when you know you’ll be trapped in your head, especially if you’re going to be alone.  When it comes to sleep and laying your head down and getting rest, the feelings of saturations become overwhelming and course through you from the last few days, it grips tight dwells on your mind harder.  Sleep turns into tossing and turn in bed and a moment comes, STOP thinking, everything begins to relax.  You wake up some time through the night and the feelings hit, “not now, I need this rest,” you say.  Morning comes and you put your self together for the day, the feeling is lighter but there the thoughts aren’t unraveling themselves so strong as before. 

Time apart, - space - are making things clearer, honest, and healthier decisions are being made with noticeable spectral change for self.  The time apart from the other – person -isn’t what we ultimately want and it seems backwards when initially thinking about our feelings but again its not.  Discussing the thoughts with people that are all here for you physically and mentally are all thinking of you in return.  So that helps…  But also you want to talk too that other person badly.  I haven’t given up on you, so why crack at a thought that grew into a deep halt into giving up on me or us.  We’ve been at each other for the bettering that person but also lost sight of taking care of our selves.  That’s why this time and – space - helps us collect ourselves before tarring one another apart from one another.  The realization is that we are giving our selves a chance to check into ourselves and not be deconstructive in the relationship.  Lets keep progressing, building meaning, values, and all these great things by working through our thoughts of wanting to improve ourselves at human beings. 

That hunch feeling is special its ties itself like a rope on a tugboat when guiding a massive ship into port – we just have so much potential to grow even more by being together and hopefully, you can see that.  If not with me I can only hope with in your self-first and someone else in the future.    

A bloc - 'full gas'

No, I don’t have the pedal down on ‘full gas’

I’m at sorts of feeling out of gas, meaning that im out the control of using my own gas.

Legs aren’t tired; the support of me tapping into the reserves is at a miss.

Where are these thoughts coming from, new training, and racing as a Team?

Work schedule is hectic trying to ride with not so nice weather and limited time on the bike.  No one wants to get sick and I’ve been sick two times already and feeling like this allergy has turned into a long awaking sickness…

Mentally we all want to do well in races, in everything, and yes why not.  The tops of my thighs always feel out of gas on the flats, on the hills everything is fine and comfortable on the cycling machine.  Odd but I just have to be consistent with the training plan.  Results from training don’t come around in 2-4 weeks it comes in 6 or even greater.  The season is young and as much as I want my body to be at a certain place as it was before the race season started its not there right now.  I just find that my body is breaking down what was ultimately solid fitness.  Sure, ill be back at it again – in the game of racing well and not feeling that I should blame anyone not even my self.  Don’t let your mind beat you up, let your teammates and friends do that by putting laughter in the belly, warmth into the heart, and a lighter load on the mind.  It’s too hard to live a life as your own ally and enemy.  Keep pedaling through the chaos and all will fall into place.  You can’t be fast every day and the same goes for the people you know are fast now.  This is why Teammates are crucial and important in all forms and not singularly cycling.