Facing Facts

I’m facing facts and always doing battles with my mind even though you can reassure your self that everything will work out.  It’s a hard fact that you know you have trained, put-time-in, effort, planning, and in the end it doesn’t boil down to excuses.  Yes, I know I am hard on myself and it’s in my nature to be and I could say the same for a lot others.  Its very difficult in knowing that you can do better in certain weather.  I know and have trained a lot in brutal cold weather then the average Cat 2 & 3 last few years also commuting in the cold for the last 6 years in Kansas City.  I have been racing for 3 years.  I know now that I will definitely show up for cold, brutal hard man weather but other spectrum of race results never add up.  The mental notion of adding cards to your deck and also a great learning curve is the victory that day.  Now that I know my body prefers hot as hell races!  I’m still excited to race and compete in the cold also excited to wake up and ride early and still have a entire day a head of me for Spring-Summer conditions.  For all the people that do very well in cold weather racing I salute you and ill make sure to return the favor soon enough.  

One day at a time

All the days that you wake up, you have one job, and that's to get better ever single day.

Circling the String

 A lesson, value, or a common assurance; life seems to be strung out on a string some times.  I’ll leave you be, so you may extrapolate about what the outcomes can happen when tying string.

Make a string to long or to short you can run into a number of probabilities of problems, sometimes none at all but no one is perfect.

The emotional body that comes with life, some things can be avoided, adjusted, also the unexpected can happen. Learning to live with pain.  We hold onto things and also let them go, pain can be one of them but also learning that pain some times needs to be let in and we must learn to make room for it.

Edges

Edges in the cold,

Just before the fold in the ear you have a creased contour that rises at the ten position and sets at the three as if you where following the hands on a clock.

The place where the fingernail ends and the fingerprint begins; mocks a curve that never meets a physical demand during the day.  Same can be found when the foot is flat against a surface.  The cold is always the first to get too these edges of the body first. The pain settles in but stays fresh as if you received a fresh paper cut or rather the feeling of a repetitive irritation of something is beneath the skin nagging like a fresh scab.

As I lay

The paint is imperfect on the sealing.  One blanket covers the crumbled crumbs that lay with hairs of cats and people in the seams of the pull out coach.  The bed is made for two.  Tails of stories are told with the grips of fresh brewed coffee keeping them and us awake.  The staying awake was much needed a different character of that person came fully pure, in that moment in time.  Now a story was being explained as a mist, a distilled moment in time, that would need forty-five minutes for the story to flourish but it would be remarked as a echo, “…this is me stoned.”  The night carries on with cracks and cackles of two talking through the night, it’s almost as if there playing telephone but they are laying next to one another. 

The sun rises with the date of a new year.  The paint is imperfect; it might be the posture of me lying crooked with a pillow beneath half my neck and shoulder. Then again paint can’t always be perfect.  The colors that come through the blinds are of a spectrum of whites, warm-yellows, and blues that mimic sky blue landscape.  Outside changing supplely because of the early morning tide. The blinds make soft hard lines across the space as if they were mountains and I lay low like valley.  What follows through the blinds besides blocked out space are tonal colors of sienna yellow, warm ambers, woody browns, yellows that should piecing but are soothing.  The colors that I saw would be worth a picture but in that moment I found it all in her hair and skin.  Her hair changes to the light that it is given at, so do her eyes but in this moment it was a form that I didn’t realize I could take all for myself and carrie with me now.   

A Find

Being a warrior isn’t needed, letting self be soft as the sand or its piercing sting when hitting the skin.  The hairs of the dunes are soft with the cunning wind blowing, moving without any footsteps needed.  Hesitation dissipates because the stance you hold is that of a column.  You bother not to walk but allow your eyes to make all the foot steps in the sand.  You’ll find the humps and contours of the dune grass that build a new landscape by the hour.  The Brown bold color of the sand echo the implied nature of the season and its discharge of color palate, a find that only compliments itself within the landscape of the Lake Michigan.

Hush-hush.

And the gushing noise of howling air cutting through one another, the wind clashes as much as the waves break upon one another. 

Rolling-rolling.

The green washed hue of the lake that mimics the sea like abyss charm by it’s clamor by breaking of one wave- on another- repeating itself again- and again.

A find is going on all in this moment of time, you feel as if you are following something specific but once you feel you’re clinging to something specific; its gone, follow that wind, sound, touch, and smell of this seen.

Swimming in a moment of time.

The Glowing Stare

The whites of the eyes; the fans of the iris glowing back as the sun sits on your left. 

The sun is running from the thought of rising and sets its sights on setting within the next few hours. Air is fare on my lungs for the closing month before a new year.  Little tactful of ride with salt staining the any sort of surface, gray and a hint of malice salt can become.  Fresh water on a roads like today only bludgeoned that thought because its only snow or black-ice that is beginning to swelter due to the tempter of the sun.